Assertive Communication Role Play
Role-Play Scenarios for Practicing Assertiveness
1. Declining Social Plans (When Overwhelmed)
Situation: A friend invites you to a party, but you’re already feeling socially drained.
Passive Response: "Uh… sure, I’ll try to come." (Even though you don’t want to.)
Assertive Response:
- "Thanks for inviting me, but I need some quiet time this weekend. Maybe another time!"
- "I appreciate the invite, but large groups are hard for me. Let’s meet one-on-one instead?"
Key Takeaway: You don’t have to justify your needs—just state them clearly.
2. Asking for Accommodations at Work/School
Situation: Fluorescent lights give you headaches, but your workplace hasn’t adjusted them.
Passive Response: Suffer in silence, leading to burnout.
Assertive Response:
- "I’ve noticed the bright lights make it hard to focus. Could we try softer lighting or let me work in a different area?"
- "I have a sensory sensitivity to these lights. Would it be possible to get an accommodation?"
Key Takeaway: Frame it as a productivity need, not just a personal preference.
3. Setting Boundaries with Touch
Situation: A coworker hugs you without asking, and you dislike physical contact.
Passive Response: Freeze up and say nothing.
Assertive Response:
- "I’m not comfortable with hugs—I prefer handshakes or waves."
- "I need personal space—please ask before touching me."
Key Takeaway: It’s okay to set physical boundaries—you don’t owe people touch.
4. Interrupting Someone Who Talks Over You
Situation: In a meeting, a colleague keeps cutting you off.
Passive Response: Stay quiet and let them dominate.
Assertive Response:
- "I wasn’t finished speaking. I’d like to share my thoughts."
- "Let me complete my point before we move on."
Key Takeaway: Polite but firm redirection helps establish respect.
5. Saying No to Extra Responsibilities
Situation: Your boss asks you to take on another project, but you’re already overwhelmed.
Passive Response: "I guess I can try…" (then stress out).
Assertive Response:
- "I can’t take this on right now without compromising my current work. Can we prioritize?"
- "I’d need to adjust deadlines if I take this on—is that possible?"
Key Takeaway: Offer solutions (like reprioritizing) instead of just refusing.
6. Correcting Misunderstandings
Situation: Someone misinterprets your words and assumes you’re rude.
Passive Response: "Never mind, forget it."
Assertive Response:
- "That’s not what I meant. Let me rephrase."
- "I think there’s a miscommunication—I actually meant [clarify]."
Key Takeaway: Don’t let fear of conflict stop you from clarifying.
7. Requesting Clearer Instructions
Situation: A teacher/boss gives vague directions, and you’re unsure what to do.
Passive Response: Nod along, then struggle later.
Assertive Response:
- "Could you give me an example or write it down?"
- "Just to confirm, you want me to [repeat in your own words]?"
Key Takeaway: Asking for clarity prevents mistakes—it’s not rude!
8. Handling Unsolicited Advice
Situation: A family member keeps giving you "helpful" tips you didn’t ask for.
Passive Response: Smile awkwardly and ignore it.
Assertive Response:
- "I appreciate your concern, but I’ve got this under control."
- "I’ll ask if I need advice—thanks!"
Key Takeaway: You can acknowledge + redirect without being harsh.
9. Advocating for Sensory Needs in Public
Situation: A restaurant is too loud, and you need to leave or adjust.
Passive Response: Suffer through it, leading to meltdown/shutdown.
Assertive Response:
- "This noise level is too much for me. Could we move to a quieter table?"
- "I need to step outside for a few minutes—I’ll be back soon."
Key Takeaway: Your well-being matters—reasonable requests are valid.
10. Responding to Condescending Remarks
Situation: Someone says, "You don’t seem autistic!" or "Just try harder."
Passive Response: Force a laugh, feel invalidated.
Assertive Response:
- "Autism doesn’t have one ‘look.’ Please don’t assume."
- "I am trying my best. I’d appreciate support, not criticism."
Key Takeaway: You don’t have to educate everyone, but brief corrections can help.
How to Practice These Scenarios
- With a trusted person: Role-play both sides (you + the other person).
- Aloud in a mirror: Helps with tone and facial expression.
- Written scripts: Type out responses to keep handy.
- Small steps: Start with low-stakes situations (e.g., ordering food your way).